LISTENING BETWEEN THE WORDS
Sometimes what isn’t said is the loudest thing in the room.
Eyes can say things words never will.
Sometimes the most honest moment in a conversation
is the silence between sentences.
DEDICATION
To the Holy Spirit, who teaches us to listen before we speak.
To my wife, whose presence, patience, and willingness to grow beside me continue to deepen both our marriage and our friendship.
To the friends who choose values over volume, and growth over ego.
And to the children watching — learning love, communication, and belonging from what we model.
“Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” — James 1:19 (NKJV)
THE HOOK
Sit with this one.
It’s about something subtle.
And powerful.
It shows up in marriages.
In friendships.
In boardrooms.
And around dinner tables.
THE STORY
Sometimes after an outstanding conversation with my wife, something settles in my chest.
Clarity.
Trust.
Presence.
That kind of presence does not happen accidentally.
Have you ever been in a conversation where the eyes and the words did not match?
Where the mouth was speaking —
but the heart had already left the room?
We say we want communication.
But often what we really want is validation.
Communication invites change.
Validation protects ego.
After thirty-three years of marriage we’re often asked,
“How do you two get along like you just met yesterday?”
We do fight.
But we fight toward one another.
Not away.
Not to win.
To understand.
That’s not personality.
That’s discipline.
THE MOMENT (BAM)
There was a day my wife had to call me back into alignment.
We hired a canvas company to install shade and blinds on the patio.
She wanted to talk through the wind load in the garden — practical things that mattered to her.
I never let her get a word in edgewise.
I went straight into business mode.
Consultant. Efficiency. Outcome.
Later that day she quietly said she didn’t feel at peace moving forward.
Not because the product was wrong.
Because she didn’t feel heard.
That one stung.
I apologized.
We adjusted.
But the lesson went deeper than patio fabric.
THE TURN
It exposed something in me.
I have won arguments before
and lost connection.
Right about the facts.
Wrong about the posture.
Winning the point
while wounding the person.
I’ve learned something over the years.
In marriage — and in any meaningful relationship —
you have to fight for second place.
Not because you are lesser.
But because when you fight to be first, to dominate, to control the outcome — everyone loses.
Second place is not weakness.
It is humility — choosing connection over ego.
It is stepping back so the other person can step forward.
And when both people fight for second place —
there is no loser.
There is alignment.
THE REFLECTION
We keep God at the center of our communication.
Not as a referee.
Not as a weapon.
But as the reference point.
When God is at the center, the goal changes.
It is no longer to win.
It is to reflect.
Listening is spiritual discipline.
Respect is rarely accidental.
It is a decision.
People often say respect is earned.
There is truth in that — trust and honor grow over time.
But basic dignity is not a reward.
It is a choice.
My respect does not depend on your behavior.
It reflects my character.
And when I fail to give it, I don’t get to outsource that responsibility.
That accountability is where growth begins.
“As iron sharpens iron,
So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” — Proverbs 27:17 (NKJV)
WALKAWAY LINE
Winning the point is easy.
Keeping the connection is wisdom.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT
In your next difficult conversation —
are you moving toward them?
Or away?
MY PRAYER
My Heavenly Father,
Teach us to listen beyond words.
Remove blame from our tone and fear from our posture.
Help us move toward one another instead of away.
Protect our marriages.
Strengthen our friendships.
Guide our parenting.
Keep Yourself at the center of our conversations.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
ABOUT G~
G~ writes from lived experience — exploring identity, authority, and time through the lens of faith, trial, leadership, and surrender.
His reflections are not meant to condemn or hype, but to steady.
Rooted in covenant, forged through adversity, and anchored under the authority of Jesus Christ, his work invites readers to examine who governs their lives — and to live intentionally under truth.
If what you’ve read resonates with your journey, feel free to reach out.
G~
Matthew talks about “what comes out of the mouth, comes out of the heart” Greg asked me once, “what would Jesus say” . Now that runs through my mind before I open my mouth, but only if I stay in the moment with my heart.
I remember that conversation. It wasn’t about fixing anything. It was just the two of us trying to live a little more aware. And honestly, I still ask myself that same question.
Staying in the moment with your heart — that’s the whole thing right there. If we can do that, most of the rest takes care of itself. G~